“Impatience is a fast horse, but a bad rider.” -Serbian Proverb

I do not believe there is a correct way to grieve. Jesus understands sorrow, heartache, and deep mourning. Real religious comfort is not about being told things that make us instantly feel better. 

Having recently lost close friends, I witnessed families bear the tyranny of death with remarkable faith. Their holy grief stirred my heart. When meeting the families at the memorial services, grief became a bond connecting our hearts, lifting lament above words and transcending time. 

“Jesus wept.” -John 11:35  

The original Greek word for wept in this passage, Dakruó (δακρύω), means to shed tears, to weep, or to cry silently. It denotes a quiet, dignified sorrow rather than an audible outburst, in contrast to the sorrow expressed by Mary and others (klaió wailing) in this passage. The Gospel writer highlights that Jesus’ grief was intensely personal and deeply internal.

One day all graves will be forgotten, but the One who dwelt among us wept when his friend died–yes, the God Incarnate expressed holy sorrow. Augustine famously wrote that Christ wept as man, but raised Lazarus as God.

In his deeply honest memoir A Grief Observed, written after the death of his wife, C. S. Lewis shows impatience with those who suggest death should matter less to the believer. Madeleine L’Engle observes in the book’s foreword that “this impatience is felt by most of us, no matter how strong our faith.”

So we weep on with Christ until Resurrection Day, as fellow mourners trusting in all the promises of God, even when “Their absence is like the sky, spread over everything.” (paraphrased from A Grief Observed) 

Prayer 

Heavenly Father, thank You that You are never distant from our suffering. When grief comes, remind us that Christ stood beside a grave and wept before He spoke life. Teach us not to fear tears, but to entrust them to You. Keep us faithful until the day every grave is emptied and every tear is wiped away. Amen.